2500 Pounds of Reality / by Amanda Gentry


Yesterday my second round of clay arrived. On two pallets. 2500 pounds.

When I first conceived of Born Again I imagined laying the first ring and considered that the top would require the assistance of others—not just with the building of it but with the troubleshooting and engineering of it. I didn’t think of the in-between, the point at which the clay would be just above my head.

Since the clay was delivered my mind has been working non-stop. I don’t know what the solution is or will be. And I keep trying to pacify myself with the notion that I am surrounded by resourceful minds that are all too willing to help. Still, I have found myself intimidated by what I have set out to do. The challenge of what I have chosen to build has become real to me.

With Born Again I am birthing my self. I imagine that what I am experiencing right now is similar to what many expectant mothers feel in their second trimester. The first is all dreams and excitement. Then the creation kicks and the clothes no longer fit and the back aches and the doubts come to the surface and it’s too late now. All one can do is put one foot in front of the other and focus on the immediate task at hand. Because if you start thinking about all that is ahead of you that you do not know it would paralyze you. And this creation needs you to be alert and present. This creation needs you to be capable. This creation needs you.